Monday, February 22, 2010

Analysis: The Talibans Of British Politics Against Brown


Isn't this funny? Indeed it is.

What started as an accusation against the Prime Minister is now the waterloo of a supposedly national charity. In just less than 48 hours of the whole story emerging, National Bullying Helpline(NBH) has found itself in a churning central nervous system of the whole affair loosing 3 out of its 5 Patrons in a space of 6 hours. But thats not the worst yet.

By 8pm, the Charity Commission has not just revealed it is reviewing NBH's charity's status, it has come out confirming more damning evidence; NBH is 207 days behind in their accounts declaration and also have a complaint against it from 2008.

Going back to Saturday night, NBH was surviving regardless of its questionable credibility. From being a 'bedroom' business run angling for business for another of its type from the same bedroom, to keeping her party political leniency hidden, it was still surviving under the hush hush tone of quietness.

But on Sunday morning, a possible phone call came through once the accusation machine against Brown turned on. The planners have always kept
Ms. Pratt in the dark knowing that given advanced notice, she might spew it in her prattling nature, to her patrons. If she does, Professor Cary Cooper CBE would definitely object, being the expert he is. Ann Widdecombe MP, the witch of Kent may also want more details; hence these people may refuse Ms. Pratt their support and draw attention to the confidentiality issue.

Her users also know that giving Ms. Pratt advance noticed is too risky since she prattles and may leak it to more people than they can control. If this happens, it means more people to brief and keep in check. But in character assassination plots or any such conspiracy, the fewer ears you involve, surely the better. So the lead plotter decided to keep Ms. Pratt on the hanger until the exact minute.

They waited, calculated counted and then the day arrived. Just the day before, Brown has grabbed more numbers in the polls that his enemies so much believe in, the conspiracy wheels spins. Brown has just lunched Labour's election strategies; and he has hit them hard. Warwickshire was bubbling and enjoying the man. The crowd was more bubbly and welcoming than they expected. 'We must act fast', they thought. Their plan has always been: never let any moment of praise or acceptance last or he will fly...

The executioner went through their plan on the night of Saturday, pressing every button on the big machine. Rocket-Observer is ready, so they just have to wait until the country goes to sleep. Evil is always and better when lunched in the wee hours of the day. And Sundays are always great so that whatever good confidence the targeted victim has for the week ahead would have been crippled by Monday morning. By early Sunday morning, the executioner pressed the last button and lunched Rocket-Observer.

While the rocket took to the air, the executioner checked that the improvised explosive devises (IED) are still where they were planted in Swindon strategically next to an identifiable address belonging to the opposition. As the Rawnsley-brnaded Rocket-Observer climbs higher and higher and attracts atmospheric particles and debris of journalism, the bright lights and fumes of the was by now bright enough and the entire population down below are looking up. The executioner calculates more, waited and then sends out the signals to the IEDs and waited for the main explosion.

Inside Downing Street No 10, the machine of government was alerted of a dangerous explosive in the sky. 'Can we detonate it?' they asked. Phone calls were made; able generals and officers were summoned. And so the subtle defence mechanism was activated. Enters Field Marshall Mandelson who, as we surely trust him, do not play games. The brave general took control, tried to deflect the bubble, and assured concerned citizens that the rocket in the air were fired by the imitation local talibans who, as we know the definition of Taliban - at least in the political stage – is a bunch of miscreants who cannot hold proper debate or dialogue to contribute to the national needs. That is quite right in this case; or is it just worse?

But as the home defence is standing firm and strong against this Rocket-Observer, the executioner feared their weapon would be destroyed before it fully takes off, so they must act even faster. This is mainly because citizens are beginning to relax adter an assurance from Field Marshal Mandelson. But the Talibans would not have that. They have to add more fuel to make the army look fizzled. And to act, they have to use the surprise roadside bomb. Yes, they one that the army has not expected and hence did not check to detonate. The executioner pressed the button to power the IED.

At this point, I could just visualize IED in Swindon gassing out and bubbling. As the executioner let go of the button, Christine Pratt, the NBH's Chief Executive fumed and agreed that Brown must be told to his face that he cannot deny this hence her first attack initially said 'Brown's denial' although she was "not suggesting that Gordon Brown is a bully" even though she has evidence of calls from staff working directly with Brown; what a mixed message. As a good citizen who wants to set the records right, she fumed, spat and howled. 'The Field Marshall should be strangled to reach truth, Brown must be exposed because we have the evidence' she must have cursed.

And so she exploded. But wrongly enough, the IED was the wrong one. The war has formally been declared open as the executioner sits back and laughed; 'let the storm rage', the executioner breathed. The citizens got agitated again and started reacting.

Oh no! They've missed it. The citizens noticed it almost instantly. They attackers are using banned clustered munitions; 'this is a breach of (inter)national trust and confidentiality', the whole people shouted. And so the majority joined the home front to refuse any such exploitation by the executioners and their team. The Swindon bomb was left to fizzle at its own expense as citizens began pointing out the breach of confidentiality and betrayal of their trust – angry exposures ensued.

And now on the tools of human faces of this evil plague on Gordon Brown, restless and prattling Ms. Pratt cannot wait to attack. For Ms. Pratt, she can just imagine the glory she will reach for attacking a victim she believed is already weakened from very many past fumes on same enemy's attack. Also, she got the backing of the executioner and support of the main opposition; any coincidence? But little did she realize or gave it a thought that firing the wrong (cluster) weapons could be dangerous. Also, because she has not been briefed at all on the logistics of attack in a battle field, she does not know how, where and on what spot to fire from.

Lifting the IEDs, which apparently she should not touched – as you must not expose confidential data in your care –, he dangerously ended up hurting herself. This led to limping and thus losing balance. As her patron-saints who were not informed beforehand, of a war let alone a battlefront role, looked out to see, they begin to wonder if it is safe to go to her rescue at all or would that be against all common sense, logic and safety.

At this point, the arch-angel saint Ann, decided to sit on the fence. Lieutenant officer Widdecombe, a renowned witch of Kent, thought it would be possible to salvage Ms. Pratt before she do more self-harm while making the citizens think she is quite on their side. But Lieutenant (Prof) Cary Cooper, a decorated warrior of the realm, took the first step as a real soldier; dropped his ties to the self-harming colleagues and ran far... if only for his dignity. "He who fights and run, lives to fight again", thought the professor. Then followed Cllr Mary O'Connor and Ms. Sarah Cawood. Thus a battalion without soldiers is obviously not a formidable one anymore.

While these are going on, Ms. Pratt decided to change her initial attacks. While she thought that the victim should be killed without trial 'Gordon Brown must not deny because I know, I know', she considered giving the victim a shamble prosecution so as to keep her aids, she turned and told them, 'Victim (Brown) should follow due process'.

'Due process? When you aren't using any?' asked the citizens. 'Not quite', replied the restless Prattling IED, "we are not saying Brown is a bully" we heard her saying; ah! Confusion. What is and isn't truth here? But no, hang on, she refused to muck up, raise her hands and leave the stage. By the morning of Monday, she had splitted the number of evidence has, sharing it between actual victim and assumed cover-up "I cant say exactly how many people called, but its two from the PM's office and two from the Deputy PM's"... phew! Mathematics, I say.

Anyway, at the other end, the executioner is uncomfortable at how messy the attack has turned. But not just that, it is imploding instead of exploding. The main target is now obscure from the rockets and IEDs. Some more weapons have to be added. Enters David Camer-on; yes, the camera turned and DC spoke. Of course, he should.

For DC, although he tries to make it seems he is a State(less)man, oh yes! He always ends up revealing and attacking his real self. "Overall, what I see is just another unseemingly mess at the far end of the government that is tired, that is discredited, that is worn ou.". 'Not good enough', said the real inner him, 'you have to use this opportunity, attack the PM again, this is your chance or this whole plot will fail'. He gave it another go, purely irrelevant of the asked question about what he will be in government IF ever he gets there; moderator or leader "...the problem with the PM is he is Chief operating officer, Chief financial... bla bla bla; he does not delegate and then sit back as a Chairman". Oh yes! DC actually used the word, 'chairman'; hints of the Bullingdon club boys desperately fighting to get into the power house by all means. Surely, there will be a lot of legs on stools and more windows smashed by the boys if we let them in there.

But how could he when just 24 hours ago, the local Conservative association in Stratford-upon-Avon saw this man bring his feudal lordship from the Conservatives HEADQUARTER and over-ran their local party imposing parliamentary candidates on them in the name of A-list and all-what-not. Infact that particular case, like the ones prior to it in Westminster North, Bromsgrove, Worcestershire and Surrey East, it appears no women or ethnic minorities could be found among the locals hence candidates are imposed from far and wide. Talk of dictatorship. Yet it is the man whose despotic plans is played out in this local Conservatives on Sunday morning that turns around to babble about Brown being all that and this on Monday morning... Well, Mr. Nice Man Camer-on is just worse than Brown in this aspect.

Anyway, back to the issue at hand, the executioner isn't quite satisfied because all the tools available have been used but the result(s) has been rather disappointing. 48 hours after lunching the attack, the executioner cannot hold on to any real points scored but can count points conceded. So far however, the plotter has managed to remain anonymous; well, as usual. And victim is still alive and standing but tools have been useless and wasted.

Rocket-Observer has managed to remain in the sky but unable to explode. IED did implode and now begging to be fully ignored, feuDal master Dave has botched it when he used the wrong subtlety which sounds like child's play considering his deal at Stratford-upon-Avon which saw Nadhim Zahawi, YouGov Co-founder being imposed on the locals. Does that make you remember Ms. Truss of Norfolk East? The protests? The sex scandals? Etc, etc.

Well, all said and done, the plotter is happy he is not yet revealed. His emissaries are fighting for their lives. For Andrew Rawnsley (pictured left), the Cabinet Secretary Sir Gus O'Donnell has denied 'he ever trusted the man to tell him important things'. But Mr. Rawnsley is not going to back down because, those printed books has got to be sold; of course. He will live with it until the publisher at least makes their money.

Funny enough, on BBC Newsnight, Mr. Rawnsley claimed he will keep 'the confidentiality' of his informers because it is just what it is: Confidential. He said Jeremy Paxman understands the business although Mr. Paxman refused to acknowledge he does... obviously Paxman's integrity is more important than to agree to unverified lies.

Down in Swindon, Ms. Pratt seems to be struggling to survive. She has descended the ladder from 'Brown being a bully' to 'Brown not being a bully, nor she ever suggesting such; miracle. But she did confirm that the Conservatives have assured him of support... and the plotter?

As I write this at midnight of Monday, less than 48 hours from the first rocket-Observer, the citizens demands to know more about the breach of confidentiality by Ms. Pratt than they wish to know about Brown being a bully. Indeed; he isn't – if at all – the first or only bully around but which even those that know him do not think is an important point. And compared to 'Conservatives HEADQUARTERS' and their A-list, citizens, even the foolish ones who join in the illegal war against Brown, do accept that a bully is surely better to deal with than a feudal master and dictator to local party associations.

Because, although you may complain and even make a call against a bully to the National Bully, you dare not complain against a dictator or... your guess would be worse than mine here.

But by this time and in summary of the first episodes, majority of the citizens accept Brown is a human and makes mistakes like all of us. Using his humanity to conspire against him or exploiting his personality to make cash from book of lies and forgeries is more evil than such normal thing as showing anger, which every human have in them.

But to the main accusation, if Brown bullied staff, or in the actual sense, if any staff has complained of being bullied, then an investigation should unravel all that. But while the accusations hang and lacks merits, the real issue would be to unpack and detonate the IED in Swindon and leave the rocket-Observer to burn out in the sky as it seems to be doing by now. Oh! And did before the relaunch of The Observer with this Talibanistic rocket.

Next page please...

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