The Whale that came

Like a saint in hell
It appeared on the horizon
Moving without stopping
Seeking a worthy final place

On and on it swam
Thames burning out its strength
But to comfort it must go
And for such, there is not stopping

Move on oh saint
Seek out thy natural place
Though comfort, there is none
But your place you must find

London, my London
Great city with a mother’s bowel
Great and small alike you welcome
The good and bad, usual and unusual

London, a bag of mixture
Cosmopolitan in every aspect
Home to all, room for all
Even the extraordinary mammals you welcome

Where else could it have run to
What other city in the world would welcome it
Which other people could have shown concern
London, only Londoners

And so the saint knew
That in time of danger and weakness
Only the compassionate can notice
Only the great city will care

So it ran in. On it move
Till Big Ben was in sight
‘Cos there sits the law makers
The representatives of the great city

And sure, help came
Londoners came out in troupes
Emotional care they showed
Indifference they eschewed

Vigil they kept, prayers they made
With the weak saint they waited
In the cold, frost falling on them
But who else but Londoners can do that

So gratefulness the saint showed
Keeping calm when unusual hands touched it
Obeying every order
Transmitting the message

There it must not go back
In the great city, with wonderful people
That is its hope for a final journey
Dignity in dying it obtained

Sleep on dear great visitor
We wished you lived
We are happy we tried
But you knew its time

Adieu.

pictures were sourced from BBC websites. no part of this write-up can be used without owner's knowledge and consent

Is Colour a reason???

I have never been one that believes in colour. For me, people to me are just people; human beings just like me and as such, they are as unique as man has been made among fellow breathing things. Though some of my friends will laugh at this ‘cos they know I am colour-phobic in just one thing… I won’t tell you though, it’s a private thing. Anyway…

Being in London brings the whole issue of colour into one’s face with its massive population of all kinds of human being. That noted, the existence of varieties isn’t much what blows the issue of colour round about you, but the ever-presence colour definition in every damn thing that happens in this country. It’s quite interesting.

Well, as unlucky as we have been, the main difference is only black and white. And when it’s that, it’s glaring enough not to be blotted over. So, we can’t but read on it without our glasses.

Blacks feel downtrodden. Whites feel disturbed. Now both blame one another. Being white in manner, but black in nature, I support none. My blame is apportioned equally to both parties. Blacks are rather more on the wrong side to themselves than whites. Why do I say that? because they mastermind their being downtrodden by their very poor standard attitude.

Look at black youths, majority of them are striving harder to do the wrong things: crime, prostitution, drugs, you name it. All. for to be recognized. You tell me, why would someone be accepted in a society where he is forcing his way through? There are very positive blacks in this society to be emulated: David Lammy, Minister for Culture, and many others, but there are more foolish young blacks denting that colour. Why struggle through the wrong paths to be seen. Why taking hippy life as the only way to stardom. Why refusing to go to school or why becoming a thug at school. All the irresponsible over-dressings, the loud and foul mouths, the impolite noise making on the buses or trains. Why?

Looking at it, I cant but repeat the words of Prophet Isaiah in the bible where he said, weep for …(yourselves). I mean people have to rethink their lives. Self respect is the key. It is time blacks know that the only way to change how society regard them is by stamping their feet on the ground and doing things the way they should be done and not by being ruffians, not by involving in crimes, not by being on drugs, not by seeking to be seen in the public through noise, playing music loud, shouting on the phone, et al.

Every society, race, faith and all have got their fair share of evil such as mentioned above. Among the supposed-rival whites, there are such manners too. But then, we can see its proportionality to their size than the opposite. In this generation, I think it is time things are no more described by colour but by personality. But definition by colour will not leave us till we live it. And we can only live it when we put on respect for self and others, take up bravery and aim higher in a decent way. Leave resentment; see yourselves as equal to any human being. Because the main source of blacks situation comes from inferiority complex.

You have to rise above it. The chance is there. Your place in society is very much unoccupied and no one is struggling to stopping you from taking it nor is anyone coveting it. You must think yourself worthy of what others do. The constant thinking of being downtrodden only result in what exist now: crime and all manner of undignified manner cum that inferiority complex. Parents have got to set examples. And that’s only by keeping that colour coding definition out of their talks. Its not useful telling someone, don’t follow them, you are black; it’s not your lifestyle. That is foolish.

Take this situation for instance: A black woman saw a black gay guy kissed another on the road, her reaction was: Taaa! You don’t do that. You are a black child of God! Tell me, what has BLACK got to do with being a child of God? And such sentences are made every second which is absurd and misleading. People need to drop colour especially in advising young people, only then can we see it drop from defining common day to day occurrences.

Peace!

Back to work

While everyone was going back to work on the 3rd of January, I was starting my holiday of 2 weeks. It was really funny and weird to be on holiday when you should be starting, but then, I love so much to do weird things and things in a weird way,

Having registered for exams in 3 courses, each with a substantial amount of work to do, I was worried on how to start off. Yes, just how to start because I believe that the toughest part of any commitment is to start it. And since submission of the bits of task begins from the second week of January, I thought it would be nice to take the weeks off to get my bearing on this; that I achieved. It had been fruitful weeks. I was able to kick-start my issues and on a good speed too. So now, it is time to get back.

While I was on holiday and cracking my brain on the projects, I got a call from work that I have been moved from my present store to another one. The call was also asking me to come back to work trying to cut my hols to 1 week, that I won’t accept such. But as I go back to work from Tuesday, it is to a new location, with new people but with a boss I know, have worked with and admire so much. Safari is my role model in Nando’s even though I have no opportunity of achieving what he has, he remains the guy I always follow in his foot steps, I am happy going to work with him.

Well, I have got just a temporary time to achieve the task set before me which is to produce a Buddy/Store Trainer for the store and retrain most of the staff too. I look forward to doing this and leaving O2 Centre, Finchley Road with better record. It will be a tough time, but isn’t tough times made for tough people? So, come with me, its over to Nando’s O2 Centre on Finchley Road, just a stone throw from Finchley Road station. Pay us a visit and eat Nando’s in one of the most bubbling malls in London, I promise you some French fries if you come when I am on shift.

Let’s go…

Brokeback Mountain and the new world awareness

Brokeback Mountain. The film making waves. I cried watching it and it is really a touching story.

I am not a movie freak, in fact, my indifferent to films and screen issues goes a long way back to going up in a poor home where at a time we didn’t have a TV, and as such, I learnt to live with my world and never go to friends or neighbours to watch the box. But on Saturday January 14, Marc suggested we go to the picture house. That was a welcome suggestion.

As we watched Brokeback mountain, I sensed how much the movie is not just an entertainment but an awareness to human on how much they have destroyed innocent lives with though phobic manners. The film shows how much natural love can exist between two people regardless of their gender. But the society plays a huge role in letting people express their love. This they achieve by not understanding what people are naturally. Reading from one of the good books, the bible, Paul wrote in Romans 9 verse 20: “Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why has thou made me thus?

But society seem to have done just that. W seem to have question God (or whatever we believe created us), why did you make some gays? That is cruel. People are not gay because they studied the subject as a doctor does; they are not gay because they moved with gays; people are gay because that is exactly what they are naturally.

Thank you Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain. I am positive it is doing a new job of changing perspectives among humans and such set us on a new path of tolerance and acceptance. And talking of acceptance, I do not mean to say that anyone is begging to be accepted, but that those who don’t accept, will learn to accept.

To finish with, no one is straight, you are either heterosexual or homosexual or even MULTIsexual for the African polygamist culture. Heheheeeee. Well, there we go, I can see a new hope on the horizon. I can sense the freedom coming to those who wouldn’t accept that it exist and they are the ones that I have more pity for. But I am running short of that pity, and soon, there will be heartbreaks for such ones. Surprising enough, I have so many of them.

God help us all

Reward...

Last year, when I got to my lowest, I took up helping in a local charity as a volunteer. It was a big step to sustain myself. Because this was a time I felt so bad that I thought I am not useful living.

Well, I did it among all other commitments and it was a trick I played on bad times giving in 8 hours per week and it helped me climb out of my pit.

So on Thursday, after I came back from the hospital, I went in to excuse me for some time to concentrate on my exams, and there was a reward. Oh my! never expected that. A thank you party organized for volunteers.

I attended, for a short time towards the end of the party. It was happy to meet other volunteers and share with all. It was a nice party. There is joy in doing things not because of the gain to the recipient but for myself too.

This year, I look forward to giving more time and working more seriously in SCOPE to afford the needed help to people suffering from cerebral palsy. In that way, we all can join strength and help ourselves. To me, it is a circle, while I do that to others, it reminds me that I have not been what I am all by myself. A lot of people have contributed through financial, moral and social help. This is my little way of appreciating such help especially from strangers.

Together we can make the world a better place. You can contribute, no matter how little

Mysterious...

On Wednesday, 11th January 2006, as usual, I was on my computer typing away for my exam project. At about 01:50am, I felt a sharp pain on my chest. It was very swift; it felt like being struck by a force as if on both sides: front and back. What followed was a crushing sensation of whatever thing (I assume the heart) is the content of the chest cave. In 10 minutes, I had run downstairs to the kitchen, drank some water. But the attack was still at its baby stage.

I had to lie down, but at this point, but almost loosing breath. Various lying position each proved to be the worst. And by about 20 minutes of this experience, I could tell I have felt whatever the dead (if at all they do) feels when they are gone, the difference being that I am still alive though. So I thought I must do something.

I immediately rang the NHS Direct. Now I must explain because this situation has made me realize that most people don’t know about the NHS Direct line. A very useful number to have on your phone if you are in living or visiting the UK, it operates 24/7 and gives advice on what to do in such trouble times. It is just like a First Aid. The nurse at the other end only takes your full name, age, phone number and address so as to be able to get to you should you portray the worst. Thus you will be told whether to take paracetamol, drink water or eat rice, pasta or lasagna (hehehee). I mean they practically attend to you as a nurse/doctor will do if you were in the hospital. By the time I explained what I was passing through, she was sure there is nothing I can do by myself. She decided to send in the emergency services but first my consent was sought and I was redirected to the ambulance services. I spoke to them but I realized that was just to make sure they know my condition while the ambulance arrives. In 15 minutes, they were banging at the door like fire fighters.

By this time, the pain has eased but then my whole body was shaking like a winter leaf. All this time, about 15 minutes into this ordeal, my body temperature has been unsteady: too cold, too hot. After they checked me up in the ambulance, they were sure I have to go to the hospital for ECG thus we went. On the way, exactly 5 minutes short of an hour when it all started, the pain came back again but for a few minutes.

At the hospital, I was connected like a new gadget being tested OK. Over 7 cables were attached to my body and watched on the screen. I hated it. Printout followed printout. My curiosity to watch the TV was snubbed by the first nurse while the second merely informed me to relax and get well. It was till about half 6 that the doctor think me fit to leave their presence with a good news that I am more than well. Well? So why have I been punished with a sleepless night? “Because we have to keep an eye to make sure you are just right”. That said, I was acquitted with assurance that my operating system is not corrupted. I hope so.

Thinking of what happened, I was dumbstruck to believe the doctor, but then, ain’t I happy to be declared well. God’s been good to me. In this year, this is the second major problem that spell death, but who cares? For me, death is entirely itself and if one must die, then he will. Nevertheless, for every breath I take, I am grateful to the one responsible. I am grateful to the NHS Direct, it is a useful setup.

Friends...

One thing I have always needed since 2002 had been a soul mate. Someone to be close to, to feel as part of me, someone to confide in. and to share my life with. This need seem and remained very difficult to achieve no matter how assiduous I worked towards it.

Like I have lamented in my earlier blogs, a vacuum was created in my life on July 14, 1996 when I lost the only one that was all that to me; my mum. 10 years counting, I still mourn this rare gem that weathered before it flourished. And a lot of promises have come on the horizon trying to do that but never succeeding, and so I am left al-way increasing my grief. With every broken promise, with every failure, with every mismatch, the sorrow grew taller and fatter. And thus me, strong in emotion, has come to kneel before emotions and flounder in my fate.

Recently, I met Marc; he is cool to start with. Friendship with him was not hard to start; of course, I am very open to friendship regardless to whom. But Marc appeared to be something very peculiar. Of course, I am not really able to describe him yet, I may sound too forward but then even if things don’t work out, and it won’t make him any bad unless proved otherwise.

Well, we spent part of the Christmas and New Year period together till he moved. I missed him so much and felt so alone on Saturday. But I have a great assurance that he is there and very much around. Like his reply to an sms I sent him in the evening, his reassurance is that this is not for goodbye. ‘Makes me extra-ordinarily happy.

I wish you the best Marc, you are one friend in a million and I hope our friendship grows stronger from strength to strength. Shalom!!!

Beginning the year

2006 has finally arrived. Another count, a new beginning for many, a far different time from the one gone for others. Saturday, which was the last day of 2005 seem a long gone time now. So that is life and it continues.

Anyway, for me, it started as usual like any other day since I don’t really see much difference only that dating has to change. The first day was rather so idle since it was a Sunday and work-free day having not gone to church. I stayed indoors all day without stepping out the front door at all. It was made much so enjoying because Marc was there with me. We didn’t cuddle, but the mere presence of each other was far more satisfying than any other thing as we cling on to our individual computers doing so many things that need be done and some that aint got any necessity… your guess is as good as mine.

Having so much to eat though, we interrupts our stillness occasionally by sharing those eatable things. Trust me, 2 is really better than one, and when it is 2 good ones, it is the best.

So on the second day, according to Gregorian calendar, came in also, rather solemnly. Home again I stayed. But by mid day, I cooked up things to do that before I know it, time wasn’t enough for me again. Then I knew the holidays were over. I went grocery shopping at my favourite store –Tesco, while Marc went over to see our friends just nearby. My favourite cousin UD, came over and spend some time with me. I have to rush off to work to settle with my holiday which I have requested and from there, see another wonderful friend.

Well, I sort out stuff at work quite fast and headed to Dalston to see Andrew. At Highbury, I got a miracle of not being run over by a double-decker London bus (No 277) when I carelessly ran turned into the major road without looking. It was rather double miracle because the bus nearly fell off control meaning I would have caused the death or injury of many passengers of the bus while the driver was trying to save my life by not hitting me. The driver was rather on a high speed anyway, but thank God nothing happened. No one was affected.

Few meters away, I discovered my rear tyre has deflated and so have to drag the bicycle on and walk the remaining journey to my friends. Well. I repeated same going back home.

Being someone that hate walking, my whole body system gave in after that long walk and the night was a traumatic one for me with aches all over. So I woke up in the morning with a bout of flu which kept me in bed till about 3pm before I could mutter the courage to get up and shower, take some tablets and ate. I cancelled everything I wanted to do on Tuesday by text messages and today had been much better. We ate out last night and came in to once man saddle our brilliant machines. Marc took the pic above while we were at he restaurant.

So I hope to have some better rest till I resume classes and work. For now, I have to give myself an indoor rest through the period of my 2 weeks hols. That’s the best way to start a year.

2006 A. D.

With just a shift of the tiniest hand of the clock, the world have changed shape or slope; whichever. And now, today, just another day, same breaking of the day, the usual dawning of light, another count has begun. For us humans, it seems quite a big change. And so, here we are: 2006, an entirely new phase, another beginning, another Year. Yesterday thus seems a year gone... I love the sound of that.

Well, agreed it is a good intelligence to organised this way, I mean date and stuff, I still dont see a day like the one gone few hours ago as hugely far gone. Anyway...

So dearest, what's your plan? What's on your agenda for this new phase: Love? Money? Marriage? Education? Better job? More luxurious life? etc. No matter what, good controlled ambition will see you through,

As for me, I am optimistic but not over-expectant. I know I will achieve things, but what things, I dont fix. But in that trance, my only and main objective is to be happy and be a source of happiness to others.

So today, is the beginning, but not solely for me, rather to make you understand, My wish above, is just a continuation of my life. For me, I live by the day and so, today is another day. Yhus my personal prayer says:

As I live daily, God, Keep me ever mindful of the needs and wants of others.